sexualremarks:

WHY DO PARENTS ALWAYS RUIN YOUR DAY AND THEN ACT LIKE THEY DIDNT RUIN YOUR DAY AND WONDER WHY YOURE IN A BAD MOOD

lamelohan:

my only talent is not being in a relationship

comin4dabooty:

When you stub your toe

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happiest:

them nights when you wish someone was just laid next to you cuddling you or just fucking the shit out of you


"Yes hello, I’d like to make a de-paws-it."
"That’s funny."
"My finances are not a fucking game, Jessica."

greetings:

when u hear someone talking shit about u

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dt